Tuesday 3.5.2024

How do we know if we are getting closer to the truth? Which truth am I talking about? I am talking about revealing the voice in your head to the world.

The one that has been guiding you since childhood. Some people claim they don’t hear one which makes me think they have not defined that voice as a voice. More as just a thought. Or maybe they don’t think in voices.

But mine I believe used to just be the voice of my Mom. No hagas eso Josue. Haz bien Danny.

But slowly that voice just became my own. The voice guided me towards being a MOSTLY honest person. But not completely honest. Because the voice kept being exposed to darker corners and crueler thoughts I did not want to expose to others. It was easier to be the quiet kid with dark thoughts.

But I quickly learned I could be honest with all the things I’ve hidden within me. But as I grew closer to certain people like my mother, significant others, and friends. Those dark corners of my mind got revealed. That I am not as clean as I act.

And that’s what I’m trying to do now. To not act anymore. To become myself and not be scared of what I’ve experienced.

But it’s hard because I can sense all the rejection that might come along with it.

Or maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I can start something where everyone becomes a little more real by reading this.

I am not going to overexpose myself. But I will open some blinds so people could see that they are not alone with these thoughts.

I have harmed people with my lies. I am now doing my best to heal with the truth.

This voice inside of me wants do what’s right.

It feels so fucking good right now.

But I know I can be better. A little better each day.

And if I end up worse a few days…

I can just turn around go back to being a little better.

Never end it on a loss. If you win keep the streak going as long as you can.