Sunday 2.25.2024

Songs On Repeat
Natural – Moe Shop, Ace Hashimoto
Instant Crush (Drumless) – Daft Punk, Julian Cassablancas
Cardiac Arrest – Bad Suns
Levels – Avicii

The opposite of good is evil.

This led me to a fear of what the opposite of me is. The things I can’t control, for example: What takes over when I black out drunk? What takes over if I start sleepwalking? What happens when I lose myself? What is the animal inside of me?

I’ve been so fucking lost before.

But I think I am really getting close to living a life that is so real. By only speaking in facts, truths, my code, and everything I have defined. Unfortunately, I have done shit in my past that prevents me from responding to some simple yes or no questions. But I know I’m not alone in that fact.

I’ll admit right here if someone asks me in an interview if I’ve ever been fired from a job I will say “No I haven’t”. But the truth is I was “let go” after a couple weeks for being too slow at a veterinary clinic. That is just one example of a simple lie I have to do to survive in this world.

I’ve had several addictions, obsessions, and vices that keep from feeling like I can be myself. But as of about a week ago, the only things that I feel are modifying my actions are coffee to get going in the morning, and the playlists on Spotify I listen to almost religiously throughout my days.

I know we hide ourselves because there’s few people that can willingly admit the dark thoughts in their mind. It’s why it is sometimes refreshing when someone says the quiet part out loud.

But there are people that say the quiet part out loud to a fault. There are certain thoughts that need to be kept in your head and modified before revealing it to the world. Not all thoughts should be brought into reality.

It’s sometimes better to keep to yourself and only speak in facts. Than speaking in truths to cover lies.

Admit the code you live by. Here’s mine.
Sway’s Code

#0: Do your best to do good and be honest, but be light as a feather. You are free to do good and say truths. If you do evil and lie, you will be trapped in a cage inside your own mind.

#1: (Golden Rule) Treat others the way you would want to be treated by them. Imagine yourself in there shoes as much as you can.

#2: Only make promises you can keep to yourself and to those you love. Do not make excuses, be honest about why promises get broken.

#3: When you hurt someone. Do everything you can to make it right. Turning yourself in to the person you hurt if possible. Asking a higher power to forgive you should be the last resort because you as a decent human being should try to heal what you have damaged.

#4: You’re allowed to start over anytime and live a better/good life. But if your past catches up with you, you will need to confront it with love, honesty and humility.

#5 Save and judge yourself before doing it to others.

#6 Be an OFB. Open fucking/flipping book. But make sure to edit the things that need to be edited. Find someone you trust to help you edit the parts out of you that need adjusting.

#7 While being an OFB. Define all your words and phrases as completely as possible. You never know when misunderstandings can happen.